CURRENT MISSION

Say goodbye to Austin, Texas, and being social. Finish developing freelance portfolio AJAX goodies. Write a few iPhone apps because I miss Texas and hate New England winters. Learn how to drive. Make more money. Move back to Austin by March.

ABOUT ME

um.

my life is complicated.

i went to college when i was fifteen.

i started writing my thesis halfway through my first semester.

ask me about my thesis!

i have temporal lobe epilepsy. like, dostoyevsky-style. i was going to say "myshkin-style," but i'm pretty sure that'd be a little too obtuse. i gots the gerschwin hardcore.

i'm kind of what you would get if you reincarnated emily dickinson, virginia woolf, james joyce, frida kahlo, and anaïs nin into the same person. maybe dash some alice roosevelt in there. it's intense.

i also have narcolepsy and adhd. all of my pills are the same size. i don't like that. at least my unseizuring meds are green and blue.

i hung out with people my parents' age exclusively until about two years ago, give or take a few weeks. tended to hang out with my teachers instead of my peers. i have since become a delightful hyperbole for my contemporaries to enjoy. by which i mean, i can hang with people who aren't dead or dying now too. by which i mean, i can hang out with people my own age now and not feel really awkward about it.

my mother is a professor at the university of massachusetts' amherst campus. i grew up around computers and ended up teaching myself a number of programming languages in middle school in order to make geeky role-playing websites as pretty as i wanted them to be. i learned a bunch about databases|data parsin'|elegant algorithms & whathaveyou in order to automate the drier aspects of conducting scholarly research in my attempts to actually finish things i started in school. it didn't really work, but i've probably written and read more than you have in any given three-year period. (i stopped tallying halfway through my sophomore year, but it was something like 5000 /single-spaced/ written & 700000-something pages read. nobody outcrazies me in academics. want to have an academic-off?! BRING IT.)

PHILOSOPHY

listen to yourself; meaning is implicit in that which draws you the most. the more you listen, the less you will regret. do nothing you will regret.

c.s. lewis (not my favourite inkling: read some owen barfield, bitches!) formulated it in my favourite way: (fuck i'm too lazy to open up my database of awesome quotes) — I SHALL PARAPHRASE THUSLY. and use very few commas because it's funnier to me that way: okay yo so you're all up in this dark forest and you're trippin' over all this shit and you're like GODDAMMIT MY TOE and so on and you go along in this manner for some period of time UNTIL BAM SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS which is less like BAM FOREHEAD INTO OVERHANGING BRANCH or BAM PREDATOR ALL UP IN YOUR TISSUE and more like FUCK WHY DID I NOT CLOSE THE CURTAINS LAST NIGHT BEFORE SO MANY GODDAMN WHITE RUSSIANS THAT LIGHT IS REALLY UNPLEASANT CAN YOU CUT OUT THAT PHYSICSING PLEASE NOW EXCEPT NOT REALLY BECAUSE THE CONSEQUENCES WOULD BE DISASTROUS this is because you get all self-conscious when you meet your first lightpost! no but seriously i'm not joking. and if you squint all proper-like you'll notice a string of these lamps all up in the forest (YES IT'S A BLATANT CHRISTIAN ALLEGORY DON'T WORRY IT GETS BETTER SO SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE) and the thing is they're actually leading you to somewhere (EDEN PERHAPS or if you'd like to go all psychoanalytic up in YOUR MOM) BUT you'll never fucking know that if you stop at any of these lamps as though it were the end of the line BECAUSE GUESS WHAT IT'S NOT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING CHOO CHOO TRAIN TO YOU JACKASS and HERE HERE HERE LOOK IT'S THE CONCLUDING PART OF THIS NEVER-FUCKING-ENDING RUN ON SENTENCE RIGHT HERE HOLY CRAP I NEVER FUCKING THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN the more lamp posts you don't consider your destination, the more satisfied you'll be with your life. THERE I FINISHED YOU CAN STOP READING THIS GOD-FORSAKEN PARAGRAPH NOW. but then again, you could have all along. OR COULD YOU. any philosophy majors, i'll totally take you on regardless of your position on free will. NO I'M NOT OVERLY INTERESTED IN BAITING PEOPLE FOR INTELLECTUAL DEBATES WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

yeah, and i'm a gnostic. i'll leave it open to you whether that makes me a christian or not. i describe myself as a christian to atheists; i describe myself as an atheist to christians. i'm not two-faced. it's just the most accurate way of using language (oooooh hey derrida and maybe lacan well how you doin' there huh.)

that paragraph was destined to be boring. fuck you if you don't believe paragraphs got destiny. i'd kick you on the shins IF THIS WEREN'T THE INTERNET. but it is. so i can only tell you how it might be different.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

i . . . i'm hoping to couch-surf in austin for three weeks while i wrap up my affairs in the city. i also don't know nearly enough austinians, and i'm too shy to start up conversations in libraries. the most i can do is be like, "I BET YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THIS SHELF BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE IS EVER IN THIS PART OF THE LIBRARY FOR ANY OTHER REASON." the caps-lock doesn't mean i yell. it's just to emphasise the stupidity of the shit i say. most people have difficulty distinguishing my voice from ambient noise.

but, um, yeah. i want to meet more austinians, i can't stay with either of the guys from my college from austin (one's AT school; the other's my, um, ex-boyfriend). and i don't want to spend ridiculous amounts of money for a hotel room when i don't need privacy, i just need a safe place to sleep.

when i move back to austin, i will proffer my couch to surfing. until then, not really sure i can be very helpful. nobody has any reason to visit my hometown, besides. it's nowhere near nowhere and dinky. also you're screwed if you're allergic to any animal, dust, or mold. or cold. i live in a house a few decades older than this country. 'twas built by royalists. the banister betrays it!

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

i couchsurfed at college if i was too sleepy to make it back to my room by the time the library closed. i wash dishes and provide superb conversation.

also, my life is an absurd story.

so i guess you can keep me around to make you feel...um. i guess whether you're intimidated, confidence-enboosted, or you feel some other unspecified reaction . . . really depends on who the hell you are.

Interests

my thesis is the theory of everything. it's gonna fuck up academia. it'll ruffle /even zizek/. (if you're not impressed by THAT then you don't know some of the hilariouser aspects of critical theory.) it has three parts: the first is a historical survey of mythological theory situated within the intellectual context of the time; the second is what happens when you take away the superfluous shit & connect the remaining dots; the third is retelling history according the awesome light of the concluding chapter of the second part.

yeah. so. i have a pretty wide range of interests.

before that happened, though, this is a list of my obsessions in chronological order: art (sculpture, illustration, watercolour, calligraphy, graphic design), irish & bluegrass fiddle, writing (novel, poetry, essay), history, religion, philosophy, comparative & historical linguistics, folklore & mythological studies, classics, assyriology.

my majors are in classics, critical theory, linguistics, and literature (ancient, early romantic, modernist).

i consider myself primarily a musician even though my hands are too broken to play fiddle anymore. i feel caged.

• animals
• arts
• humanities
• writing
• books
• literature
• poetry
• folklore
• design
• graphic design
• illustrations
• running
• flowers
• reading
• music
• surfing
• atheism
• calligraphy
• teaching
• freelancing
• history
• languages
• religion

Music, Movies, and Books

my favourite film flips between the saragossa manuscript, the third man, and — fuck, i forgot the third. but there's a third. trust me on this.

i have well over a terabyte of well-loved music. i refuse to list that shit.

i can provide bibliographies that are great but i ain't gonna privilege any over the other. (this is a lame excuse. the truth is i'm too lazy and it'll make my profile even more unwieldy YES THIS IS AN AESTHETIC JUDGEMENT SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW UNWIELDY MY PROFILE IS.)

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

i...um.

i...i got my hair caught in queen mebh's scrap fabric sacrificin' bush when i visited her cave. after visiting her caern.

i think the gods like me a little TOO much. o man don't get me on the topic of deities i identify with it's way too conceited.

Teach, Learn, Share

fuck, i'll teach you how to write just like the last tsar of russia! (i can also teach you several major handwriting schools of the 1700s & 1800s.)

i can teach you how to wear spats like a pro.

i can show you how to be a proper victorian lady or dandy. um. i guess i kind of do the steampunk thing now. whatev. flower language & calling cards are always splendid.

Countries I’ve Visited

Mexico

Countries I’ve Lived In

United States