I'm searching... how to live my life as human being... what does it mean

It's not easy for me to write here about myself. It’s a challenge because it needs honest looking inside. Actually I’m writing because my daughter said that YOU HAVE TO WRITE MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE :) so I try :) And it looks like: writing and deleting and writing again and deleting again ... and it's getting better. Sometimes I even enjoy it and think it's not so bad at all.

I'm an introvert. I don't need a lot of people around me. I can be totally alone long long time and feel great. Inner world is so infinite and full of explorings. Although I can be and I am very open to communication. And enjoy meaningful conversations, meeting with people heart to heart, do something together ... I have been a math teacher for several years in secondary school (both waldorf and public) and it was a good time. Children are sincere and much more open to the world than grown-ups. They ask important questions and are truly interested in answers you give them. Such talks between me and students were one greatest thing about being a teacher. And that’s why I’m interested in going back to school some day. I feel I have something to share with them. My life experience. I have gone through sufferings, searchings, findings, hopings, learnings, contemplations, being happy, being sad, being in love, being mom, being wife, being divorced wife, being married once again, being in troubles, getting out of troubles .... trying to get to know what does it mean to be a human being, I don’t know the answer yet, but I’m on the way.

I quitted a job (as a math teacher) some years ago and living now very very simple life, countryside far from people, together with my husband, with 3 goats and 2 chicken. Like in the monastery. Nature and silence around us. Reading, learning, writing, contemplating, listening, having hours-long discussions with my husband... Because one day my husband said to me, that if I want to save our marriage and my soul, I have to quit the job and stay home. And that's what I did. Some days ago I read J.D.Salinger´s short story „Teddy” and found the same idea:

"May I ask why you told Professor Peet he should stop teaching after the first of the
year?" Nicholson asked, rather bluntly. "I know Bob Peet. That's why I ask."
Teddy tightened his alligator belt. "Only because he's quite spiritual, and he's
teaching a lot of stuff right now that isn't very good for him if he wants to make any real
spiritual advancement. It stimulates him too much. It's time for him to take everything
out of his head, instead of putting more stuff in. He could get rid of a lot of the apple in
just this one life if he wanted to. He's very good at meditating."

I also like good jokes and laughting!!!

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

Similar to hitchhiking, it's meeting new and very different people, with whom you otherwise never get acquainted. It's widening of world.

Interests

• meditation
• reading
• learning
• conversations
• simple living
• listening
• herbal medicine
• psychotherapy
• meaning of life
• couple therapy

Music, Movies, and Books

I've no favourite ones but where are lot of who/what have amazed, inspired, influenced or touched me
music: arvo pärt, vangelis "el greco"

movies: kung fu panda, broken circle breakdown, violet evergarden, minority report

books: jeff foster, byron katie, hermann hesse "demian", romain gary "the life before us", kavitha chinnayan "shakti rising", sue johnson "emotionally focused couple therapy with trauma survivors: strengthening attachment bonds" , paolo coelho "alchemist", maya angelou, stephen covey "the 7 habits of highly effective people" and "the 8th habit", rudolf steiner "how to know higher wolds", fjodor dostojevski "brothers karamazovs" and "idiot", lev tolstoi "war and peace" and "anna karenina . . .

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

I have two great children, a son and a daughter, born in 1999 and 2001. I love them.

my marriage with my husband. it's everyday growing. it's everyday couple therapy. it's the hardest and best thing. and he is the best, the wisest, the most extraordinary and the most difficult person I know. I love him.

Teach, Learn, Share

couple therapy

What I Can Share with Hosts

I can share my way of life and get to know your way of life
I can share my home-made herbal medicine

Countries I’ve Visited

England, Finland, Latvia, Lithuania, Norway, Russian Federation, Slovakia, Sweden, Ukraine

Countries I’ve Lived In

Estonia