Bitter as a wasabi flavoured thing you thought was going to be minty
Angry as a volcanic pimple in the middle of your forehead as you head off to a job interview
Sour as one of those War Head lollies from back in the 90s that your older sibling tortured you with

Because I work in customer service in the state where Pauline Hanson got a decent chunk of the vote, I take comfort in the fact that we're all going to die. And the logic goes that if we're all going to end, I should probably embrace life. I don't know if I'm particularly successful at it, but I'm willing to give it a bit of a poke and maybe dust off a smile every now and again. Sex, drugs, and rock n roll having been replaced with debt, dogs and sausage rolls, I have memories of having been young and carefree at some point . My major in my very theoretical and extremely useless arts degree is a study of colonisation, and my minors are in sociology and gender studies - which means I am insufferable, unemployable, and really quite useless beyond the capacity to read and write fluff.

I imagine that in the dystopian future following my graduation my days will be filled with rocking back and forth in a dark room tearing magazines to shreds slowly with my eyeballs peeled wide.

Other than contemplating the end of days, my other hobbies include yelling at the sea and dog bothering. I especially like bothering dogs.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

Once upon a time I was really active on here but I totally forgot my login details and so here I am. But that previous account had a man in a gimp suit as my profile pic and strangely only ever attracted mostly German men and the occasional American dude asking to be hosted.

It's all a bizarre experiment, I say.

Interests

After avoiding responsibility for all my 20s I'm late to the party and have only now gotten myself into uni. Here I'm surrounded daily by hip, young, cool young people doing my last semester of an arts program and realising i'm so old in their eyes I might as well be dead. I study colonisation, gender, and sociology and spend much more time shaking my fist at the sky than I used to.

• dogs
• human rights
• activism
• decolonization
• justice
• gender
• recovery
• social theory
• history,
• prison abolition

Music, Movies, and Books

I have three older brothers who have shaped all of my pop culture tastes. I haven't really lived anywhere with a TV since about 2004 and only got my first laptop three years ago, so my tastes are a time warp . If you like 80s macho man films, the Vengaboys, and Scooter we should get to the chopper! I mean, get to the internet and laugh heartily together.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

I'm one of those people who totally peaked in high school and tried to ride that wave long after the seas had calmed and everyone had gone home, had dinner, got married and spawned the next generation. So I did a lot of really daft things long into my late 20s that my 17 year old self would have aspired to. But since scoring entry into Club Olds I instead use the sniveling muscles around my nose and exercise my judgy-judgy muscle when thinking of my past. At least anywhere where my boss can easily see anyway.

One of those things that still tickles me however, is that I used to run a pub crawl in Manchester where I'd start everyone off with a ice breaker of shared poo stories. I thought it was brilliant that every week on a Thursday, people would start off timid and shy but I'd consistently get all these strangers in a shared space talking shit, quite literally. These days though, all my friends are now mums so poo is pretty much all they talk about. Even to strangers.

I'm also a self-proclaimed dog and donkey whisperer. The proof comes from one single time in Peru where a sausage dog and some yellow hairy thing followed me for three days on a trek. Also in Peru, I ended up with about 14 donkeys that joined forces to follow I, the great donkey leader that the holy scriptures had written about. I did finally have a moment of sanity after they all stared and watched me wee like a bunch of dirty perverts, and realised I was probably stealing a whole bunch of farmers' donkeys. I ran away.

Teach, Learn, Share

My skills aren't far off from a newborn's so I've got very little to teach. Haven't even got my driver's licence yet, I ask people to open jars for me, and am living proof that my advice is going to lead nowhere good.

But I do very much enjoy being a listening ear for a proper whinge. I'll be in and out of your town so leave all your complaints with me and I'll cart off your secret resentments to a different part of the map.

Additionally, since about 13 years ago I've also been an optical dispenser. So if you want some info about spectacles I might be the person to harass. The sector is dodgy as, so ask me things and I'll try my best to let you know your best course of action.

What I Can Share with Hosts

On the strict condition that we mutually pass the creepy test, I do have the ability to give out neck and shoulder massages. I'm also really into plucking eyebrows, so if you've got a mono that needs a revamp I can be all over it like a rash.

Otherwise, if you prefer no touching in things shared we can always just wave at each other I guess. Or we could share a moment yelling at the sea - hey don't rate it til you try it! Trust me, you'll love it!

Countries I’ve Visited

Belgium, Bolivia, Brazil, Cambodia, Czech Republic, France, Germany, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Malta, Netherlands, Peru, Poland, Scotland, Spain, Thailand, Viet Nam, Wales

Countries I’ve Lived In

Australia, England