CURRENT MISSION

Artistic, bizarre Canadian desires easygoing, fun, good-hearted, internationalized, jovial karaoke lovers. Me? Nonconformist, openminded, personable, quixotic, rarely sober. Turnoffs? Utterly vain wankers, xenophobes, yearlong zombies.

ABOUT ME

I can hold my breath for 23 days and blow out such a gale that I can save farmers in distant lands threatened by locust infestations. There are remote, windswept Himalayan villages where my name is still only spoken in hushed whispers. I have the chiseled body of a Roman God, minus the parts that fell off due to my bout with leprosy. I can make fish blink, even though they have no eyelids.

PHILOSOPHY

Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.

--Omar Khayyam

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

I hold its hair when it needs to throw up.

Interests

Weaving Tartan Patterns, Naming Tropical Storms, Illegal Cockfights, Small Woodland Creatures, Hot-Tubs Full of Goo, Full-Contact Origami.

Music, Movies, and Books

Books-- Your Huge Phallus and You, Police Academy 8 (better than the movie, as books always are), Chicken Soup For The Vegetarian's Soul HEY WAIT A DAMN MINUTE this Is CHICKEN soup And I JUST TOLD YOU I'm a FECKING VEGETARIAN.

Movies-- Obscure Danish films about 14th-Century Swedes who invented systems of mime involving wooden spoons. Screw those mainstream ones.

Music-- The Cimbalom. TING! The CIMBALOM!

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

1.75 litres of vodka. There's a picture to prove it.

Teach, Learn, Share

Don't drink the water, fish fuck in it.

What I Can Share with Hosts

Any fernet or Campari I have the misfortune to own, I hate that stuff.

Countries I’ve Visited

Albania, Algeria, Andorra, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Belgium, Belize, Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Botswana, Brazil, Brunei Darussalam, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Djibouti, Ecuador, Egypt, El Salvador, Eritrea, France, French Polynesia, Germany, Gibraltar, Greece, Guatemala, Honduras, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Jordan, Kenya, Laos, Lebanon, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Malawi, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Moldova, Monaco, Montenegro, Morocco, Mozambique, Myanmar, Namibia, Nepal, Netherlands, New Caledonia, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Northern Ireland, Norway, Palestine, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russian Federation, Scotland, Serbia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Syrian Arab Republic, Taiwan, Tanzania, Thailand, Timor-Leste (East Timor), Turkey, Uganda, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States, Uruguay, Vatican City State, Venezuela, Viet Nam, Wales, Zambia, Zimbabwe

Countries I’ve Lived In

Brazil, Canada, Guatemala, Indonesia, Japan, Lebanon, Mexico