I just paid 15€ so I can host your broke ass. You better be a fucking blast.

Are you looking for a vegan nudist host with dreadlocks? Go to Amsterdam and leave me the fuck alone!
All my life I would have never considered myself as beeing "normal"... then I met couchsurfers!

I'm in my late 20's and by that I mean as late as you can be in your 20‘s but I plan on remaining there for the next decade thanks to botox.

As a self-employed photographer who focuses on male nudes I have some of them hanging around my apartment. So if you ever wanted to get your selfesteem lowered my place is the place to go to.

I live in Frankfurt, Germany, for 7 years now. It's the city I've always dreamed about living in due to it's wild architectural mix of pretty old buildings that survived world war II and new not so German looking skyscrapers I can see from my balcony. Also you have one of the biggest airports right at your door and are able to get the fuck out of here as soon as you feel like it.

Once you get to know me a little you will soon realize that my favorite day of the year is Halloween, that I don’t celebrate my birthday - I praise the day my mom decided to keep me and that I don’t have a gag reflex. You’re welcome.

I support almost every lifestyle choice but don't try to force then onto me. I don’t have to find Jesus, the jews already did. Didn’t end up too well for him.
I let everyone eat what they want, wear what they want, fuck who they want and believe in what they want and in return I expect them to shut the fuck up about it. Thanks!

Also don't be afraid of taxidermy. I love animals but I don't have the time and budget to feed a ton of them.
If you're from PETA... eat a dick! Seriously, try it!

Please let me know your favorite J.Lo song if you request to stay with me to make sure you actually read peoples profiles and don't just send a copy and paste text to everyone to get a free stay, you cheap son of a bitch!

If you have any questions don't hesitate to wait for my book to come out.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

For some weird reason I enjoy sitting in front of my desk full of paperwork listening to strangers, whom I share a bathroom with, talking about their awesome travel stories while I can't remember when I had my last weekend off.

There was a time when I was about to quit hosting people because I met a couple of really weird people with inapropriate behaviour but at the end of the day I thought screw them. Wich I did. Bad guests only make stories to tell to future guests so keep them comming!

Interests

• balls

Music, Movies, and Books

Books:
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Chelsea Handler - Uganda Be Kidding Me
Jennifer Lopez - True Love
Joan Rivers - I Hate Everyone... Starting With Me
Jen Kirkman - I Can Barely Take Care Of Myself
Willam Belli - Suck Less

Movies:
A lot of stupid romantic comedies starring Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston or just any other Jennifer. Even more stupid teen movies or scary horror movies. I need a movie to either make me cry, laugh or scare the shit out of me. Paris Hilton managed to do all of the above in House Of Wax. Not a compliment!

Series:
Married With Children, Samantha Who?, How To Live With Your Parents For The Rest Of Your Life, The New Normal, 2 Broke Girls, Mom, UnREAL, Jess, How To Get Away With Murder, OITNB, Dead To Me

Comedy:
Joan Rivers, Chelsea Handler, Whitney Cummings, Jen Kirkman, Natasha Leggero, Nikki Glaser, Ali Wong, Marina Franklin, Lynne Koplitz, Bianca Del Rio,... Basically any hateful, bitter old cunt will do!

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

One time a guest tried to teach me how to juggle. I failed miserable but even he had to admit I did a pretty good job handling two of his balls.

I went to a Vengaboys concert... sober. Don't ask!

I've hosted more than 10 times on Couchsurfing without getting raped so far. Way to go!

One "celebrity" blocked me on facebook because I told her she looks old. I'm not gonna name names... So don’t sue me, Heidi Klum!

Oh yeah and I creeped the shit out of Jennifer Lopez. That was fun too!

Teach, Learn, Share

I've studied a lot of languages I never gotten to use and I can tell I'm getting worse every year so I appreciate everyone talking to me in another language than German. Exept for cursing. Then German is the perfect language.

As I said I'm a photographer, not a good one, otherwise I could offer a guest room instead of just a couch, but if you're a beginner or still shoot with your pre-paid phone I can probably still give you some tips.

I'm not a great cook either but since German food is all about mashing the hell out of something, boiling the life out of something or deep friing the shit out of something I think I can manage that.
Since I used to be a sightseeing tour guide I know where to get amazing food in case I fail cooking.

What I Can Share with Hosts

Well I'm mainly here to host people but I think by the time I get to use this app as a guest I will have something figured out. What's common? If you're thinking about that gag reflex joke, shame on you!

Countries I’ve Visited

Austria, Belgium, Croatia, Czech Republic, Egypt, England, France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Luxembourg, Monaco, Netherlands, Portugal, Romania, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey

Countries I’ve Lived In

Germany