IMPORTANT:
I am taking a break from Couchsurfing. I have removed all pictures and photos so no one gets suckered in by my amazingcoughnotreally looks.

This break may or may not spell the end of my Couchsurfing career: we will see.

NOT IMPORTANT:
Some time ago, I was making hamburgers. I tried to separate the frozen meat patties with a knife while holding one of patties's sides with my free hand.
I now have stitches in my palm. To add insult to injury, despite literally spilling blood for it, the hamburgers ended up tasting fairly terrible.

This might be a metaphor for my life.

Story aside, I ( only ) speak English fluently; attempts to learn other languages have not gone very well (See "Teach, Learn, Share")

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

I dislike traveling and I will likely never couch surf as a guest in my lifetime. Maybe in the next life, assuming God doesn't get his/her way (again) and reincarnates me as a cockroach (again).

Really, It was funny the fifth time, God, but the joke is starting to get old really fast. Knock it off.

That said, my only incentive for opening my door is to connect with worthwhile human beings. Or, as I will explain in person: joining "The Legionairres of the Questionairre!"

Interests

Tormenting apartment applicants.

• traveling
• languages

Music, Movies, and Books

Let's see. My favorite book is the one I'm writing, my favorite movie is the one that is based on my writing, my favorite music is what I can imagine used as the soundtrack for the movie based on my writing...

My overwhelming ego aside, I like the stories that make me think, that make me feel, or that shamelessly pander to my horrible tastes.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

http://instacats.co/

I made this in a weekend and it went viral.

Teach, Learn, Share

I aim to listen mostly to your unique experiences, and then repeat them, verbatim, to other people to sound smart. Learning is hardening my already close-minded world view, and teaching is imposing that view on others.

Huzzah!

What I Can Share with Hosts

Absolutely nothing!

For those who've actually read my profile (as opposed to just seeing the pictures), I ask that you greet me/start your first message by saying "Hey Dickhead!", "Hi Dickhead!", "Salutations, Dickhead!", or some variation of "____, Dickhead!".

I am not joking. My goal is to make image collage of all your greetings, "Tim's Couchsurfing experience", and post it somewhere online.

But! If the word "dickhead" makes you uncomfortable, feel free to write "Dear Timantha, the most beautiful girl in the world," instead.

Please note that me declining your message without saying anything normally means I am overwhelmed with Couchsurfing requests. Nothing against you! (probably) If you feel like I'm not getting back to you in a timely manner, feel free to message me again, so I can hop to it.

Countries I’ve Visited

Austria, Canada, Czech Republic, Germany, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, United Kingdom

Countries I’ve Lived In

Singapore, United States