CURRENT MISSION

Classified, but it involves dancing monkey ninjas.

ABOUT ME

(ESPAN‘OL ABAJO)

In 2012 I was co-winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, due largely to the committee's ignorance of my occasional massacres of the Spanish Grammar. (Such is the problem when you give a prize to 500 million EU citizens without doing proper background checks.) Anyway, just think how cool it would be to have a Nobel Prizewinner surfing on your couch.

In my spare moments, when not solving international crises (strangely it doesn't seem to take up much of my time), I put pins in a map for every country I've visited, read fiction, follow current affairs, write short stories, try to avoid working and sleep... hopefully on your couch if I've just sent you a request!

EN EL AN€˜O 2012 GANE DE FORMA CONJUNTA EL PREMIO NOBEL DE LA PAZ PORQUE EL COMITE NO SABIAA QUE, DE RATO A RATO, YO MATO AL SUBJUNTIVO. (ESTE ES EL PROBLEMA CUANDO SE DA UN PREMIO A 500 MILLE DE CIUDADANOS EUROPEOS SIN COMPROBAR SUS ANTECEDENTES). DE TODOS MODOS, HOMBRE, ¿QUE CHEVERE SERA ALOJAR A UN GANADOR DEL PREMIO NOBEL EN TU SOFA! SI, YO LO SE. ¡PRESTAME TU SOFA, POR FA!

DURANTE MI TIEMPO LIBRE CUANDO NO ESTOY RESOLVIENDO CRISIS INTERNACIONALES (POR RARO QUE PAREZCA NO OCUPA MUCHO DE MI VIDA), PONGO CHINCHETAS EN UN MAPA POR CADA PAIS QUE CONOZCO, LEO MUCHO, ESCRIBO RELATOS, INTENTO NO TRABAJAR, Y DUERMO... CON SUERTE EN TU SOFA SI YA TE HE ENVIADO UNA SOLICITUD DE COUCH!

PHILOSOPHY

Ah but does this section really exist?

¿Pues, existe esta sección?

我为什么加入 Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

Hosting in Hong Kong, socialising in Salamanca, surfing in your city soon; hopefully.

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

See "Selection policy", left. Here is an example of a poem two of our couchsurfers sent us. Their employer, Mr Chen, had sent them to Hong Kong with incorrect visa documents so they had to stay longer than expected.

There once was a man called Mr Chen
Who had less brains than a hen
He sent us to Hong Kong
But the information was wrong
So now we are in need of a den.

You will note how the mergence of heavy aspirants consonance (line 2/3) with aggressively plosive Whitmanesque assonance in "wrong"

兴趣

• dancing
• clubbing
• surfing

我做过的一件不可思议的事情

Dancing on the bartop in clubs for gringos in Cusco.

APPRENDER HABLAR ESPANOL SIN PERDER MI ACENTO GRINGO.