CURRENT MISSION

Teach the world how to say my name correctly.

ABOUT ME

Do you read profiles?? Read this important information first.

1. ONE PERSON CAN SURF HERE: Don't send me, "My 4 crazy Erasmus friends need..." and "Me and my boyfriend/fuck-friend/BFF can fit on one bed..." requests. I don't care if you are a beautiful girl who always gets "yes". You will get "no" from me.

2. I AM NOT SERBIAN. People who write "I want to learn about your country's special history, culture, traditions blahblahblah," you already know about my small country, the USA. (You think you know...)

3. I LIKE CRAFT BEER. What is craft beer? I host craft beer tours of Belgrade and write about it. Join my website at Pivoslavija: http://pivoslavija.com/

4. I LIKE MAKING MUSIC: I have a band and play solo too. Expect to be at one of my shows if you surf with me. Here's my music: https://soundcloud.com/raleigh-bruce/tracks

Now that the logistics are clear, here's the fun part. I used to be a serious, boring businessman. That sucked, so I quit and started traveling by being a bad (but funny) English teacher, managing a hostel, travel writing and performing music. Currently, I work at home as a Portuguese translator/moderator for adult dating websites. Yes, I get paid to look at naked pictures and discuss porn with my colleagues. If that is very funny, you'll have a great time here. If that is not very funny, don't surf with me.

I love craft beer, I'm hyperactive and my humor has gotten increasingly more black and sarcastic since I've lived in The Balkans. My past guests say it's best to have coffee, Red Bull, and of course beer when we hang out. Read my references and send me a message.

PHILOSOPHY

I'm an American. I'm not deep. Unless you ask the right questions.

The wrong questions: "Do you like Donald Trump?" or "Do you like that American TV series with...?". Why do foreigners know more about the USA's shitty TV shows and movies than I do?

The cliche, "We are all the same, one people, one human race sharing the world together..." hippy peace bullshit is fake and insincere, e.g. writing "ethnicity: human race".

People are different and that's what makes this world fun.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

Here's a 'national' interview I had in Transnistria about Couchsurfing: http://www.ioutdrankthelocals.com/couchsurfing-interview-tiraspol-transnistria/

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

The same night I discovered Couchsurfing in August 2009, I hosted my first surfer before I had unpacked my luggage in my Bratislava flat. It was awkward fun to watch my Turkish CSers do 'Achmed The Dead Terrorist' impressions to foreign diplomats at an American Embassy party. Surprisingly, we were not reported to security.

I hosted for over a year before I started surfing. One of the most interesting surfs was 3 days in a Spanish nudist colony. Yes, I was naked in public.

Interests

MUSIC, BEER, Travel, Reading, Writing, Martial Arts, Food... When I don't work I play music in bars, practice martial arts and write. I do homebrewing and organize beer tastings, so prepare to drink strange beers with me.

BRING (CRAFT) BEER FROM YOUR CITY AND I WILL BE EXTRA NICE TO YOU.

• writing
• concerts
• dining
• beer
• coffee
• drinking
• reading
• traveling
• homebrewing
• music
• martial arts
• teaching
• history
• languages
• craft beer

Music, Movies, and Books

Scarface, Borat, Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Dave Chappelle Show are the first things I think of. I have no TV, but we have Youtube, Vimeo, Vine...

Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, Dave Barry, Mark Twain, Hunter S Thompson, Pablo Neruda, Cronica de Una Muerte Anunciada, Tres Tristes Tigres, the classics.

Music is necessary: What do you like? I played for 2 years in a pyschobilly metal band while also producing hip-hop songs for rappers. I grew up with jazz, soul, classic rock, and played classical piano for 15 years. I've performed in bars, cafes and plazas all over Europe.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

1. Had an accident on my motorcycle in the northern Thailand mountains, then drove 2 hours to the nearest village while still bleeding out. Pure adrenaline.

2. Watched another American destroy my guitar on the Mostar Bridge in Bosnia. Then he jumped off the bridge into the river. (Surf with ZhErUS for the full story.)

3. Had a gun to my head (twice) in Costa Rica. First time was in the city: No surprise. The second time was in the middle of the jungle: How?

4. Backpacked through Europe for 2 months without a mobile phone. This is more difficult than people think. My CS hosts thought it was a joke.

Teach, Learn, Share

เพื่อนกินหางาย เพื่อนตายหาย่าก

What I Can Share with Hosts

- Music: The Good, The Bad, The Guilty Pleasures

- Language: I can say 'Cheers' in at least 25 languages, and write your name in Thai and Cyrillic.

- Beer Brewing: It's the reason humans became civilized.

- Insight Into American Culture That Has Nothing To Do With "Two And A Half Men" or "Friends." Really, Only Complete Douchebags Say "Howyoudoing?"

Countries I’ve Visited

Albania, Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, Croatia, Czech Republic, El Salvador, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Kosovo, Laos, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Mexico, Moldova, Montenegro, Netherlands, Nicaragua, Panama, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Serbia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Ukraine, United Kingdom, United States, Uruguay

Countries I’ve Lived In

Argentina, Costa Rica, Serbia, Slovakia, Thailand, United States

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