I am fortunate to receive a lot of Couchsurfing requests and to share time, energy, and space with special people when I am able. However, I cannot accept all requests. If you feel inspired by my profile and wish to stay with me, then please:
• Personalize your profile
• Tell me why you wish to stay with me in particular
• Indicate that you understand my living arrangements

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There doesn't ever need to be a "point" or "purpose" to travel. I think people put travel on a pedestal, as if it needs to be a grand adventure, or a solution to or escape from life's problems, or lead to inner enlightenment. It can be these things and more, but rarely because we choose it. Sometimes travel is just travel; wandering to see what delights and challenges serendipity will bring into our lives. If we head outside on a clear night and take the time to look up at the starry sky, then somewhere in the tapestry of our lives a shining comet passes through; but without going outside and without looking up, we miss our chance.

I saw my first "comet" just before the new year on my first trip to Singapore. She messaged me on Couchsurfing, saying that she felt compelled to contact me and could we possibly meet for an hour or two outside of the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple in Chinatown. I agreed. Two years later we both returned to that spot to celebrate another anniversary.

I've had other "comets". Some were friends, some were lovers, some were fascinating people who blurred the lines. They had very little in common at the surface level: completely different personalities, perspectives on life, values and boundaries. But if you looked deep, you'd see the patterns: open and honest communication, curiosity and experimentation, experience, passion. They'd teach me as much as I taught them; I'd be as much in awe of them as they were of me. We were comets to each other, our trails crossing paths and sharing light for a time. Sometimes we'd get caught in each other's orbit for a while. Some of us are still caught up with each other. And all are satisfying and enough.

I can think of no better way to increase our chances of discovering another comet than by hosting travelers and being hosted. Bring people into your life! Find irresistible situations that compel you to reach out to another being and connect! It doesn't need to be the sole or central "purpose" of your travels but, by leaving yourself open to possibility—by going outside and looking up—serendipity delivers.

Here's how I got to this place in my life. I've always had a penchant for wandering, doing the things that others don't, and connecting with special people. I held in my hands the puzzle pieces, but I didn't know how to put them together. All I knew was that the best things happened when I embarked on unusual journeys. When I was 18 years old, my brother and I trekked through the Sierra Nevada wilderness for three weeks, living only on food drops we had left ahead of time. When I was 21 years old, I bought a ticket to a city I didn't know and for two months I tried living on $0.00, sleeping on the streets, and hitchhiking to the next spot as soon as I could muster. When I was 22 years old, I started a career in a high-tech industry that I'd had no experience in, and consistently worked my way into progressively more challenging fields requiring advanced degrees I didn't have. When I was 29 years old, at the highest point I'd ever achieved in my career and with promises of a straight shot to the top, I left; I spent the next couple of years traveling around and experiencing the world in every strange manner I could find. And slowly I saw the puzzle come together, often because reshuffling the pieces of my life allowed their edges to naturally find their places, connected; and often because some kind soul helped me put my pieces in place as I helped them with theirs, and we'd find that our puzzles, too, were connected.

So go look at your night sky and find the comets. Reshuffle the puzzle pieces and see how they land. And don't take any of it too seriously; sometimes travel is just travel.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

One summer, with no money in my pockets and a too-big camping pack containing a few clothes and a soda can stove, I committed to being homeless and decided to hitchhike up the western coast of America. For two months, before I found the abandoned house that I would squat in for the rest of the year, I slept wherever I could. Occasionally people found me and offered me a couch or a bed. It wasn't the first time I had slept on someone's couch while traveling, but it was the first time that I did it with complete strangers. Since then, I've been hooked to the idea of finding beds/couches/kitchen floors that strangers are willing to share in exchange for conversation, advice, stories, connection, or whatever intangible things people can freely give one another.

The same is true for hosting. My friend, Bernal, hosted me the night before I used the last of my money to catch a train to San Francisco. A man buying supplies to build his children a playhouse picked me up by the side of the road and let me sleep at his home in Mill Valley. A family on the way to their matriarch's funeral, two environmental scientists on their way to a research camp in the woods, a homeless man who had only a patch of forest to himself... Time and time again, people showed me kindness. Now, whenever I see a person in want of a place to sleep, I think, "What would Bernal do? What would any of those kind souls do?" I have a van. There's not much space, but Bernal would have offered it to someone. I will, too.

Music, Movies, and Books

Instead of Music, Movies, and Books, let's do general interests:

Biology: CRISPR
ask about the evolutionary video game I occasionally develop

Psychology: Sapir-Whorf, CBT, social dynamics
ask about my website on cult/authoritarian control techniques

Tech and Computer Science: AI, VR, HCI, app development and gamification
ask about the VR analytics company I co-founded in 2015

Business and Management: W. Edwards Deming, Steve Blank, and Eric Ries
ask about my career as a process engineer / semiconductor laboratory manager

Writing and Poetry: Rumi, Gaiman, Arthur C. Clarke
ask me about my blog, the fantasy story I occasionally write, and my poetry

Spirituality and Philosophy: Religion, Alan Watts, meditation
ask me to read your tarot, or about my solution to Nihilism

Love and Sexuality: ethical sexuality, masculine/feminine empowerment, alternative relationship structures
ask me about my coaching

Teach, Learn, Share

Coming to San Diego? Here's a guide that I put together for new visitors:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Bz6zbwEToMmL5SexWlsxaE0nk0bqTN1BKHKqM4YVEs

Countries I’ve Visited

Andorra, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Botswana, Bulgaria, Canada, Czech Republic, Egypt, England, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, Monaco, Namibia, Netherlands, Northern Ireland, Poland, Portugal, Scotland, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Vatican City State, Viet Nam, Zimbabwe

Countries I’ve Lived In

United States