*** I ONLY SAY YES TO PEOPLE WHO READ THIS CAREFULLY ***

If I'm going to host you for a few days, you can at least spend a few minutes reading my profile. You are not booking into a hostel here on CouchSurfing, you're asking to stay in somebody's home. For free.

*** I DO NOT APPRECIATE GETTING COPY AND PASTE REQUESTS ***

Did you ever read about that guy with the hat who went to every country in the world without flying (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham_Hughes)? Well, that's me. And I couldn't have done it without CouchSurfing.

*** COUCHSURFING IS AMAZING!! DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!! ***

Not one to rest on my laurels, a few months after finishing my travels I won a private island in a survival competition. Yes you read that right... PRIVATE ISLAND peeps!! CouchSurfin' backpacker with an island!

*** OMG! REALLY?!! ***

Ya Rly. http://www.jinjaisland.com/

*** SOUNDS AWESOME! ***

I know! I can offer swimming in bio-luminescence, snorkelling the reef, fishing, dolphin spotting in Dolphin Bay, jungle trekking, horse rides, trips to the beach, I can also get you good deals on Scuba diving and learning to surf. OH YES AND I HAVE WIFI :D

*** SIGN ME UP!! ***

Obviously the opportunity to come and stay on a private tropical island with one of the coolest and most well-travelled people in the world is not your usual CouchSurf. As such, I find myself saying no a lot, especially to people who send me "Hi Host, me and my mystery friend are going to be in Bocas tomorrow. Can we stay at your place?" requests ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!

So imagine this as a competition. In 500 words or less, I want to know who you are and why I should host you. The prize is a few days chillin' with me here on Jinja Island - sound good?

*** HERE BE THE RULES!!! ***

*** The number one rule: DON'T YOU DARE send me a generic or copy-paste request. You shouldn't send one to any potential CS host, it really is the height of rudeness.

*** All successful requests will:

1. Be in English

2. Begin "Hi Graham..."

3. Mention the island

*** No last-minute requests - you need to give me at least 48 hours notice if you want to stay. Plus my internet sometimes goes down. Gah! Stop ruining my reply rate people!!

*** Please ensure you've read the "Public Transport Access" section of this profile (in 'My Home'). You can stay on the island for free, but unless you're a strong swimmer, getting here is going to cost you money.

*** If you're just looking for somewhere to crash for free in Bocas Del Toro, try one of the CS Hosts that actually lives in town.

*** Three days would be the maximum I'd like anyone to stay as I will have surely driven you mad by then. Or visa versa.

*** You're going to have to purchase all the food, beer, toiletries etc you're going to need before you come to the island - we can't just pop to the shop if you forget something. Bring enough for breakfast, lunch and dinner for every day you're planning to stay.

*** I'm sorry noobs, but I will not take anyone with no references. It's not like I can run to the neighbour's house if you turn out to be an axe-wielding maniac.

*** If you're requesting accommodation for more than one person, I need to know who is travelling with you - name, age, CS/FB profile etc. Again, It's not like I can run to the neighbour's house if they turn out to be an axe-wielding maniac.

*** The island is not just strictly NO SMOKING, it is also NO SMOKERS. Like, the entire island. If you or a member of your party smokes please DO NOT ask to stay in my home. This is not up for discussion. Lie to me and you can expect a negative reference.

*** Similarly, the island is and must remain 100% drug free - a lot of drug trade passes through this area of Panama and speedboats get randomly stopped and searched all of the time - sometimes islands get searched too. The police do not have much of a sense of humour about the trade that results in Panama having a murder rate 17x higher than the UK. DO NOT EVEN THINK about putting my home and my freedom at risk.

*** Getting around on the boat is not cheap, so if you'd like me to take you somewhere, you're paying for the fuel!

*** I can only take the boat out in daylight hours (6am to 6pm) and I can't control the weather. If there is a storm or the water is choppy I'm not going to risk my life getting you to the church on time, soooooo...

1. Ensure there is alternative accommodation available in Bocas before you arrive.

2. Be prepared to stay an extra night on the island if the weather is bad.

3. Do not arrange to stay on the island the night before your flight out of Panama... you might miss it.

*** Please do not come to Bocas Del Toro for the specific purpose of visiting Jinja Island if I haven't already confirmed that it will be possible.

*** Please let me know if you've got special dietary requirements.

*** I have a dog, but he's fairly well trained and doesn't come into the house. I also have 11 chickens that'll try to wake you up at 6am with their racket. Throw them some corn and they'll shut the hell up.

*** If you think you're going to have to cancel or change your date of arrival, I need AT LEAST 48 hours notice. I've taken my boat to town a few times now in shitty weather, got completely soaked and spent $25 in fuel, only to find that the CSer has cancelled at the last moment. I've also said no to potential guests because I thought my house would be full. If you cancel at the last moment, you'll be getting a negative reference. Prove to me that you've read this important point by writing "Hakuna Matata!" somewhere in your request.

*** If you come and stay it would be nice if you could help me with the gardening - I've got 2 acres of land here, also any experience with sustainable farming techniques or carpentry skills would be more than welcome. No obligation!!

*** Finally, a wicked sense of humour is a mandatory requirement. Good luck!

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

I CouchSurfed around the world to every country and now it's my turn to play host.

I've got plenty of CS karma to pay off!

Did I mention I own an island? And you could stay here for free? Is that the coolest thing you've read today? It should be.

Interests

Life, The Universe and Everything!

• dogs
• chickens
• writing
• dining
• breakfast
• beer
• running
• partying
• flying
• gardening
• boating
• shopping
• reading
• traveling
• survival
• fishing
• backpacking
• scuba diving
• swimming
• emergency services
• beaches
• last minute travel

Music, Movies, and Books

MUSIC: Gimme a bass guitar, a drumkit and a frontman with a thousand yard stare and I'm usually happy.
MOVIES: Anything so long as the plot couldn't feature in a soap opera. And it doesn't involve Adam Sandler in any way.
BOOKS: Huge fan of Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, Sherlock Holmes, Lord of the Rings, Midnight's Children, Catch-22 and anything by Hemingway.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

I am Guinness World Records™ certified the first and only person to visit every country in the world without flying.

And I won a tropical island.

Teach, Learn, Share

Tell them stories.

What I Can Share with Hosts

An encyclopedic knowledge of smutty jokes.

Countries I’ve Visited

Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, American Samoa, Andorra, Angola, Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina, Armenia, Australia, Austria, Azerbaijan

Countries I’ve Lived In

Australia, Panama, United Kingdom

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