CURRENT MISSION

To go golfing on Saturn

ABOUT ME

I like to wear my bathrobe and pajamas a lot and eat cereal while looking at people waiting for the tram outside my house and watching their faces react to me looking down at them. I'm a complete top, I've tried bottom but it never quite works. And if I get a request with say two women and a guy, I'm spooning with the guy. The ladies can have the futon to themselves. I'm not a rabid anti-semite. I should point that out. I just hate Israel. I point that last part out because I make quite a few bad joked about Anne Frank being terrible at hiding.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

Initially, hosting travelers who are on a budget was great. If you send me a request, you have to treat me to dinner and bring me a house warming gift. I've hosted enough surfers at this point that I can and will be selective about who I host. Sounds like an asinine thing to say but my view of most surfers is that they are free loading hippies.

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

If there are two groups vying for my couch I do admit that I will take bribes of PBR and macaroni and cheese. Cigarettes are a nice bribe, I actually prefer cigarettes. I have none surfing experience myself, but out of the 35 or so surfers that I've hosted, the Lexie's, Allie's, Sofia's, and one or two others have been great but I've had some complete losers.

Interests

tether-ball and string cheese.

• cheese
• surfing

Music, Movies, and Books

I have some favorites, usually polemics on religion and politics. Dr. Strangelove is probably by far the greatest movie ever made.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

Wrestled a lion once at the zoo.

Teach, Learn, Share

To share really bad jokes about fat, retarded, and other people that I find funny. Gypsies are an easy target.

Countries I’ve Visited

Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Egypt, Ethiopia, Finland, France, Germany, Gibraltar, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Mexico, Morocco, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russian Federation, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Ukraine, United Kingdom, United States, Vatican City State

Countries I’ve Lived In

France, Netherlands, United States