CURRENT MISSION

to live. simple and exciting. to avoid settling. to expand. to avoid being filtered through the system. to be a citizen of the world, and at the same time an outsider. a hermite. a philosopher.

ABOUT ME

I'm an in between of everything. my attitude is quite undefinable. i am eclectic. i could be considered a pagan, an artist, a hippy, an anarchist, a pirate, a philosopher.
picture a girl with a tye-dye bandana, fist raised, spraycan ready in the other hand, yelling obsenities at the cops, head high with the know-it-all feeling perchased with many hours of lonely reading to fill cold nights. now look past her at a quiet girl discussing the foolishness and brash nature of the extremist, taking ideas too far. I am both. I am neither. as i said, i am undefinable. pasionate, yet heartbroken by that very fact, i ride the tide, though at times i fight the current with all i am worth. i wish to save the world. and escape it.

i am the first to say hello and the last to like someone. i am the first to trust someone, and it bites me on almost every case.

I love to relax and think.

I love to read good books that bring up ?tions about the world.

I love to feel surrounded by nature.

I love theatre.

Science is my favorite subject.

I took an ethics/philosophy class in dual and loved it. I love logic also.

I hate when someone thinks they are right and keep that feeling by plugging their ears against reason.

it really bothers me when someone is unkind to another for no reason.

people who are closed-minded piss me off too.

I have a personal crusade against victimless crimes.

I like walking/hiking far away to discover something new and unseen, or unnoticed.

I love to horseback ride, (trail riding and racing.)

I grew up fishing, so my sea legs are good. and i like swimming.

PHILOSOPHY

lots to say, hard to define. i love individuality.

take a look at the TEACH LEARN SHARE section below. also, my myspace blogs.

or talk to me.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

I want people to get out and explore, as well as letting myself have the ability to adventure.

i'm a talkative person. philosophy, blogs. you can see a lot of my thoughts on my blogs and posts. my myspace and such.
i like to write.
http://www.couchsurfing.com/group_post.html#newpost

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

i have not offered hospitality through this site yet, but i have met people in town who travel, and often let them stay as long as they need. i love to show travelers the places and the people.

Interests

1. Animals & Nature

2. Drawing, Writing & Reading

3. Travel

4. Ancient History

5. Paganism

6. Star Gazing

7. Logic, Ethics & Philosophy

8. Science & Psychology

9. Black & Green

10. Swimming & Hiking

• animals
• cats
• dogs
• arts
• writing
• books
• singing
• beauty
• ethics
• running
• meditation
• walking
• partying
• reading
• traveling
• drawing
• music
• equestrian
• fishing
• hiking
• swimming
• history
• logic
• philosophy
• psychology
• science
• parks

Music, Movies, and Books

MUSIC

1. Cranberries
2. Flogging Molly
3. Greenday
4. Blink 182
5. Yellowcard
6. Loreena McKennitt
7. Michelle Branch
8. Plain White Ts
9. Save Farris
10. Modest Mouse
11. Regina Spektor
12. Bjork
13. Rise Against
14. Evanescence
15. Across the Universe *soundtrack*

MOVIES
1. Pirates of the Caribbean
2. V for Vendetta
3. Labyrinth
4. Dogma
5. 10 Things I Hate About You
6. The Rescuers Down Under
7. Monty Pythonâ

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

Drove across the US with me ma.
that was fun. stopped at all of the best parks.

Grand Canyon

Niagra

Bryce

Zion

Crater Lake

Ashland

Rocky Mountain National Park

Yosemite

Glacier

Teach, Learn, Share

APPLES AND ANARCHY
My thoughts

The fear of time
Recognition flashed in her eyes, its intensity fed by the moments in time she had actively fought to forget for years. He only thought he saw her eyes smile, and in that moment expected her mouth to follow, a ripple that grew from her eyes, which was started by her memories. But her mind was quick, she had trained it well, and she tamed her features before they gave away her emotion fully. She learned long ago that she could not afford her own emotion. Conversation seemed dry, meaningless. It always did. Communication was cheap laughs and obscenity-filled agreements. She never minded these facts until she spoke to him. She would rather not speak.

Trained
Talking soon overtook walking. Yelling replaced running. Sitting and wanting was worth doing. No movement was needed. Movement would bring no reaction. We had a voice. They gave us a voice so that we wouldn’t need to fight. They made life fair. We can’t fight fairness. Who would want to fight what is fair? The only thing to be done was to talk and be told we were listened to.

The beat
True grace was only present in total isolation. Songs regained meaning; some were even found, created, but never remembered. Running was not threatened by a misplaced step. Flight was possible, but trying was not needed. Life had a beat. The grace kept a flow; as simple and necessary as a heart’s own rhythm. But unlike the heart, the grace was lost if the conscience was followed. Both cannot function at once. Suppression of the subconscious is the death of true grace.

F[a]ction
They simply accept. A silly fiction, added to their knowledge with no question! No wonder truth matters so little in a time when people talk so much. A cop out would be saying they are idiots, but in truth they are only very good students! Easily controlled, easily changed, and easily confused, they are molded by the masses, which are created by fear and promise. Never truth.

What makes us so different? Are we different? What defines a sheep? What makes someone real? thinking? Action? they are all so sure they are right. are they? are we? is there difference, or are we them. i'm scared.

A peaceful respect for how things are. Acceptance. Rising above. It all gives you nothing! Besides peace of mind. Dying grants the same peace.

cats vs dogs. lions vs sheep. creators vs second-handers. fountainhead had a happy ending. maybe there is hope, somehow.

but safety drives us together. fear drives us together. have you ever seen a slaughterhouse? they are together, as tight as they can push, and they feel safer. that doesn't work though, does it..?

Another anthem
‘They are my teachers, not my friends. I take what I need, and give nothing of myself. Revenge is the only acceptable form of harm. Emotion is personal.’ Is this the anthem of individuality? And if so, is it as cruel as intuition suggests? Is cruelty wrong?

I think I’m dying. I can physically feel it. I’m breaking. So many question. Overwhelmed. Maybe it is better to not say anything. Not think, or think with ironic humor. Just talk. Cute boys, dumb classes. Parties. Just keep talking, fill time with noise. Don’t worry about being free. Worry about being safe. I feel myself screaming NO. but should I listen? i’m so tired. I think I shall die.

It’s the death of something worth dying for. Which means your life is safe; you don’t want it to be.

relax girl! Don’t live for them. Live for yourself. Love yourself, love the individuals, and don’t worry about their strange patterns when they interact.

Laughter has not been cheapened. It has been redefined. Laughter is reassurance now, a way of showing acceptance for something that has been said between strangers. It quells awkwardness. This has made the original laugh seem vulgar and excentric. But it hasn’t killed it.

Of course she didn’t care about what had happened. She didn’t often worry about events in life, they would fade and the everyday pattern would again take over. She was too busy to fall for long. That was how living worked. But this event would change her pattern a bit. An annoying period of finding herself would soon have to be dealt with. Books, music, friends, and chemicals would help, but they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand the depth in which she functioned. So life would have to turn inward. She needed to understand herself, question what life held and what she wanted to take.

Could lucid dreaming replace meditation? Would sleep still serve it’s purpose, while fulfilling and even greater need, the need for peace and balance, understanding.

Happy enough to die today, but ready to live forever.

The detox that pema chodron spoke of, that was the feeling I was overpowered by in the tunnel. That need for anything. But it didn’t seem as materialistic as she described. It seemed like I just needed life beside myself. But the addiction to distraction is understandable.

She also mentioned that in times of groundlessness, when things are not what they normally are, kindness is the only thing that makes sense. I find this in barter fair fire circles, while she equated it to the feeling after 9-11.

It seems like if everyone were perfect, art wouldn’t exist…. There would be nothing to sing about. Suffering brings beauty in the most morbid but unfortunately necessary ways.

Spirit is energy not individuality. As in, if a rock breaks, two new spirits ensue. When we die, the decomposition has it’s own energy, or spirit. So, we all are one as in we all have our own energy. People have the most energy.

School isn’t for learning, it’s for a piece of paper and then for a job. School isn’t for the youth. It’s for those who want to settle down and join the steam. I don’t want that.